I’ve missed so much because
I’ve spent forty years of my life trying to be more caring
than you were.
This morning I pass a cable worker up on a telephone pole
on my walk into work
and imagine myself up in a tree holding a miniature bow and arrow
made out of an elastic and a stick
and trying to launch a toothpick that falls to the ground and gets lost
in a sea of orange pine needles.
I can see the worker looking at me and nodding his yellow hard hat
in my direction just to soften the moment,
the way I wish you had forty years ago, when you saw me
in that tree and thought you knew better than me.