Loaded in the Bedroom, A Poem by Chris Russell

When I think of how couples

can be so cruel to one another

just before turning out the light

and falling asleep,

and how many keep

a loaded firearm in the bedroom,

I’m terrified by the increased chance

that one of those guns

will find its way into a mouth

that’s about to fall asleep in one.

Resentment dances through our homes

and attaches to our children.

Everybody knows this on some level.

It’s why, every day after work

I come home to an empty house

and take a shower

and imagine the water falling through me

and taking me along with it,

so that anything I might want to hold onto

and pull back on

won’t be able to hold onto me.

Sometimes I even feel like I’m air,

and that my clothes,

when I put them back on,

are hanging on a sea breeze,

and don’t get me wrong, I like that technique.

But that’s how I know

I have to bounce off that armor too,

in order to finally be free of resentment.

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