I Wonder if There’s Someone Else I’d Rather Be

I can’t seem to figure out if I’m the life of this party.

I mean, I’m drinking so that’s a step. Contrary to popular opinion, I didn’t come here to talk to myself in the corner with weird similes about how being here is like drinking the party. It’s hard for me to decide if anything is like anything these days, you know how I get.

So, I can understand why you’d like me to be someone other than me.

And in fact, sometimes at home when I’m by myself I catch myself giving speeches I’d never see myself giving, and wonder if there isn’t someone else I’d rather be.

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