I can’t seem to figure out if

I’m the life of this party.

I mean, I’m drinking so that’s a step.

Contrary to popular opinion,

I didn’t come here to talk to myself

in the corner with weird similes

about how being here

is like drinking the party.

It’s hard for me to decide

if anything is like anything these days,

you know how I get.

So, I can understand

why you’d like me to be someone

other than me.

And in fact, sometimes at home

when I’m by myself

I catch myself giving speeches

I’d never see myself giving,

and wonder if there isn’t someone

else I’d rather be.