I’m not going to compete with you,
because why would I want to when
I’m barely even here right now?
Besides, being left behind
is something I’m familiar with.
I know that’s not a positive attitude to have.
But it’s from that negativity
that I’ve learned
there are more important matters to consider
than not fitting in or keeping up.
That we’re not as important
as we think we are, for example,
can be a seed for true humility
and selflessness even when what fuels it
is low self-esteem and depression.
Feeling trapped is another one.
I may not be able to free myself
from my own self-hatred just yet
but, in the meantime I’m willing
to make a space for it at the table
and let it eat there, so to speak,
and by doing that I can sort of free myself,
and that always feels like a win.