The Help

I don’t think it’s helpful to divide one group of workers against another or even try to decide what group is more valuable and how much each should receive for compensation as a result of that decision. Worker groups should be judged upon their own merits, alongside a scale of basic human income and a common sense understanding of what constitutes a reasonable living for a single person, period. I was trying to tell my friend this in the lunch room when he started to rise like an empire. I pulled my friend back down to earth and tied him to the lunch table with some memories from his childhood. “Don’t even think of going to warp,” I said. “Stop trying to kill me,” he said. “Give me a minute to put an end to your evil,” I said. “Please don’t destroy the world,” he said. “It’ll be like a knife through butter,” I said. He screamed bloody murder. We knew this could happen. Some coworkers came running in and looked like they’d just seen Thanos from the Avengers movies. They told me not to do anything rash and to please just sit down and talk to them, but the fragile ego problem was clearly something the entire establishment was struggling with. I told them my friend and I had decided an inflated ego was the real problem in this unfair world and we’d agreed his could be deflated first. “Now,” the big one said. He moved like the Predator and pinned me to the floor. It was a very cold and dusty floor, but not nearly as uncomfortable as an invasion. They freed my friend and floated out of there like a bunch of party balloons back to their mothership, but left one particularly moody fellow behind to deal with their little problem.