It’s Being Solitary Where I Get to Determine the Terms of My Life

Those I’ve looked up to during my life on this revolving ball have for both happiness and dealing with things when times were tough retreated into isolation to pray in their own way. They’ve either done this through writing or silent prayer and meditation.

I think they did this because they knew that on the one hand people could not lastingly help them with either and on the other that asking others to be responsible for their happiness and fulfillment was not just unfair and unreasonable but unrealistic and unhealthy.

I do the same thing I think both when I wish to commune with those versions of me that I know are momentarily responsible for my joy and also to ground and love myself unconditionally. I’ve learned that nobody else can or should love me that way other than me.

So, I either write or sit remaining open to everything I experience both outside and inside myself and this usually gives me the strength and flexibility to go on with my day. If I’m lucky I get to deeply appreciate the simple things and notice beauty in the mundane. I guess it just makes me feel good to know I can get what I need by being solitary.

Now, I know that many disagree with me on this way of being. And I realize many of my friends do as well. And they probably should, being them. I’ve just come to believe that,

while being social may be something we have to do in order to survive, and that distracting ourselves with one another can sometimes fold us more securely into that imperative, it’s being solitary that ensures we get to define the terms of that survival, that ensures we get to live.

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