I’ve always had a difficult time announcing something celebratory like “What a beautiful day!” even when it was beautiful and worthy of lots of attention.
I think this has something to do with the fact that while I like attention myself, it doesn’t feel right to hog it all or disregard how I am as much a product of others as I am of myself
and why I end up looking like a disapproving grandfather whenever someone praises one of my poems or expects me to jump up and down at the sight of a tidal pool.
Besides, there are so many talented, capable, miraculous and unseen people doing beautiful things that can save and entertain all of us in this world,
it’s only natural I’d want to close down inside myself like a sea anemone whenever I sense an enthusiastic attitude coming on sideways like another musical.
“That’s what makes you so beautiful,” my grandfather used to say to me whenever I showed him some drawing I just made and told him “It’s not a big deal, I just drew a picture of something I saw today,” and that “Anybody could have done it.”