The Sunburn

The sun had been falling out of the sky all Sunday afternoon, before I realized I had a sunburn on my forearms that looked like I’d been reaching down into a bathtub filled with acid for a bar of soap. I couldn’t hide it at work without wearing long sleeves so I just let it… Continue reading The Sunburn

The Dead Fish

I was eating my oatmeal. My fish walked up to me and said, “And then there were two.” “And then number two,” I said. I got up from the table and used the bathroom. Four hours later I came out sat down on the couch for a television series binge. My fish sat on the… Continue reading The Dead Fish

Ugly Should Be Put Into Gated Communities and Allowed to Flower Lopsidedly

I’m not sure I should have cut my hair last night. It was mine I’m pretty sure, so, I probably should like it. Now it’s in the trash buried under coffee grounds and is good as forgotten, my bald scalp a reminder that beauty fades, as they say, though if I were to amend that… Continue reading Ugly Should Be Put Into Gated Communities and Allowed to Flower Lopsidedly

The Dilemma We’re Facing With Education is That Its Focus and Definition Change Depending on Economic Need

Sometimes used interchangeably for schooling or its newest incarnation social emotional learning, I think we can all agree education usually involves learning something, or at least asking questions that suggest learning might be happening. Sitting in a classroom and not only absorbing information, but connecting it logically to your life and other things it bears… Continue reading The Dilemma We’re Facing With Education is That Its Focus and Definition Change Depending on Economic Need

It’s Being Solitary Where I Get to Determine the Terms of My Life

Those I’ve looked up to during my life on this revolving ball have for both happiness and dealing with things when times were tough retreated into isolation to pray in their own way. They’ve either done this through writing or silent prayer and meditation. I think they did this because they knew that on the… Continue reading It’s Being Solitary Where I Get to Determine the Terms of My Life

I Don’t Want My Dreams to Get Blown Away

An hour ago, I closed my eyes and imagined I was a dandelion seed floating on the wind. I haven’t acted with spontaneity in years, haven’t drifted over ceramic bunnies in front yards or bounced up warm windshields or hovered across asphalt like a hockey puck across the ice in a decade. I don’t want… Continue reading I Don’t Want My Dreams to Get Blown Away

Attention Seeking Behavior is Buying More and More Guns

These days everybody is standing on a stage and waiting for an audience that will never show. Attention seeking behavior is buying more and more guns down the street at our collective broken heart of a sporting goods store so often now we no longer want to care about times like when you put that… Continue reading Attention Seeking Behavior is Buying More and More Guns

The Eyes Can Be Like Double Doors You Walk Through

When it’s hard to get out the door in the morning I sometimes tell myself the door is an open field with birds doing their birdy things in it beside a bubbling brook I can always follow to a crystal-clear pool where the trout I imagine communing with can always show me the right way… Continue reading The Eyes Can Be Like Double Doors You Walk Through

Generating Highly Realized Poems Can Lead to a Shitty Social Life

I’ve always preferred poems that seem to be self-aware, poems that communicate a sense of self-awareness both with and without directly trying to. A poem feels more human and organic when it does that. I feel more invited into that kind of poem, feel a sense of camaraderie with my own weird consciousness, when the… Continue reading Generating Highly Realized Poems Can Lead to a Shitty Social Life

I Have to Make it a Point to Unconditionally Forgive the Part of Me That Doesn’t Know What to Do With Its Own Personal Hypocrisy

I was watching the news story about the incident at Uvalde the day it happened to those poor children, their families and the community, when I started to sob and quiver, and not just for the kids and those directly affected, though that certainly would have been enough. But because that same day at work… Continue reading I Have to Make it a Point to Unconditionally Forgive the Part of Me That Doesn’t Know What to Do With Its Own Personal Hypocrisy

What I Really Want is to Surround Myself in a Vortex of Confusion and Melancholy

My apartment is so dark some mornings, and this one is no exception. Maybe what they said about me in grade school all those years was true, each time my peers referred to me as dark and I had to clarify and tell them I was just philosophical and analytical when it came to emotions,… Continue reading What I Really Want is to Surround Myself in a Vortex of Confusion and Melancholy

The Buddha in My Head Thinks Judgmental Thinking Can Be Distilled Into Realizing How You Think You’re Not Good Enough

This morning, the breeze from my fan reminding me to go with the flow whenever I can, and the roll of toilet paper I keep next to my computer should I need to blow my shnoz in a hurry and cough my grass allergy and worries about dying from a heart attack before fifty into… Continue reading The Buddha in My Head Thinks Judgmental Thinking Can Be Distilled Into Realizing How You Think You’re Not Good Enough

More Than I Needed to Be Good, I Needed to Be Full

Thinking about the photo on my wall of my grandparents standing in their backyard on Rundlett Street, my grandmother wearing me on her arm like a sling, I remember reaching under the pantyhose-looking blueberry netting in their backyard, and picking the biggest berries I could find, some the size of a rubber bouncy ball, others… Continue reading More Than I Needed to Be Good, I Needed to Be Full

I Became a Fairly Simple Canine Consciousness

An unwitting participant in a dog-training regimen this morning, there I was, my nose to the pavement and going about my daily, when a stranger and her cocker spaniel decided to make me a bipedal version of a rambunctious doggie playdate. They stood still in the middle of the street, waiting for me to approach… Continue reading I Became a Fairly Simple Canine Consciousness

The Anxiety I Was Feeling as an Adult Was the Same Anxiety I Felt as a Child

If I’d known years ago that that feeling of uselessness inside me that often accompanies me sitting in the quiet of my recliner where I know no one can see me, was really that same feeling I’d experienced as a child when I knew no one did, each time You did nothing after you-know-who hurt… Continue reading The Anxiety I Was Feeling as an Adult Was the Same Anxiety I Felt as a Child

The Stiff Neck

I was having difficulty turning my head. The doctor said it was because I pinched a nerve in my neck in the night. I tried massaging it, which helped a little. Then I applied a heating pad to it. Still, I could not turn my head. A couple of weeks went by. My face started… Continue reading The Stiff Neck