Tag: Prose poems
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Platypus
My platypus was dancing with Barbara Walters. “You’re serious,” I said. “At least I can,” he said. He sat back on the couch and changed the channel. I wheeled into the living room and pulled up beside him. “Can I have the remote?” I said. He clicked it. “No,” he said. “You’ve had it all […]
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Fish and Game
I was waiting outside the Fish & Game office for them to come out and get me for my interview when the fire alarm went off and everybody had to leave the building. Last week, I’d been outside the Human Resources office at Target waiting for an interview, when an announcement came over the intercom […]
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Tiger
I was out for my daily run when I saw a tiger trying to eat a fire hydrant outside the bank. It must have liked something about what I was wearing, or maybe it was because I was running, but it let go of the fire hydrant and started to trot toward me. The mailman […]
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Skunk
The skunk did its little tough walk through our backyard. It pretended not to care if it was in danger, and then, just before it reached the woods, it stopped, and looked back at me through the kitchen window, taunting me. I ran outside to meet the challenge. I got down on all fours and […]
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Fly
I was just about to take a bite of my lobster roll when I heard a baby cry and I forgot what I was doing. “Everything all right with your dinner, sir?” the Chef said. “Everything’s just great,” I said. I went to take another bite of my lobster roll when a fly landed on […]
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Plant
A plant pulled out a gun and started shooting. There were bodies all over the place. It was covering all the exits out of the department store. I dove into a fountain. After about a minute I came back up for air. I looked around for it but I didn’t see it anywhere, so I […]
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Stones
I’ll Eat Your Face with a Wooden Spoon was the name of the Restaurant at the end of Pearly Street before the thing burned down, some say because of arson. Authorities had recently discovered the remains of tiny mechanical hand poking out of the rubble and ash. I went to take a look for myself […]
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Purple Hippos
Purple hippos were falling out of the sky. A tornado has sucked up the Purple Whirple Ice Cream Twist along with the lot of their ceramic, purple hippos surrounding the parking lot. They were coming down. One almost landed on Ronny. “If that landed on me, I would have been pissed,” he said. “I wish […]
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Lobsters
There was the green liver thing. I’d been eating it all night out of something like thirteen lobsters. I’d never eaten that many lobsters before. I’d been told the risks about downing the tomalley, but I never really thought being poisoned by it would happen to me. Nevertheless, a lobster and I were holding each […]
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Sinkhole
There was a hole in the world the size of Kentucky. I stood on the edge if it and looked down. “It’s like the Grand Canyon, only softer,” I said. “You’ve never been to the Grand Canyon, Danny,” Frank said. He got down on his butt and hung his legs over the edge. “Yeah, but […]
the real subject is always you 